I went to the Dr the day before yesterday for my ultra sound fetal aging check up and found out i’m having a baby girl!!!!! I’m on my 22nd to 23rd week and for those of you who don’t know i’m due around the first week to second week of July.

I’m soon.. going to be a mother again and I can’t hardly wait.I am so..so..so.. thrilled because it’s a girl. !Isn’t it the most wonderful news?

It’s been almost a year since i’ve lost the best thing that ever happened to me. I actually did’nt wanna think how wonderful she made me feel when she came into my life. But somehow, I thought that it was worth remembering.

In April 27, 2007, I gave birth to my lovely daughter. But I was so distressed when I was attended with misfortune. Her illness brought a lot of worry to us for her chances of survival was not that good. I was actually shaken with the thought that my baby will leave me anytime soon. All I did then was to pray hard that my baby be saved and turned to Him for a miracle. But unfortunately, it seemed like His grace’s not for everyone. Definitely not for me.

That was April 29, 2007, when I felt burned out and I saw no reason to continue my life anymore. I always felt a failure no matter what I did. The incident even made me feel suspicious of His steadfast and abundant love. But nevertheless, it turned out the other way around. It’s true , that I was saddened by my baby’s death. But to my surprise,He has taken away all anger and doubt in me and brought me back my bliss again. Deep in my heart I felt glad that finally my daughter’s fine and she had already united with Him. And now I came to buy the idea that he actually arranged my life and put everything in order and will provide what’s best for me at the perfect time. And yet, the best survival tip there is…..NEVER LOSE YOUR FAITH!!!

I found myself envying other families. They have some place they could call home, some
place they could return to when things went awful *sighs*. I dunno why and who I am blaming of
having a broken home.Is it..??…ooohhh….or perchance , the marriage should have never taken
place in the beginning.*sighs again* It jist sucks when me and my sisters end up with the
humongous chunk of holy mess!!! I jist can’t visualized we deserved these!! I’ve become so
mixed up that I think I’m losing my own individuality. I oftentimes feel detached to my peers
and all the things that I once adored and grooved on is no longer matters to me and I positively
adrift a heretofore primrose path. I’m reluctant I might bring about noxiousness to others
‘coz of not knowing how to manipulate these feelings….I even started engaging in more
antisocial behavior…I’m regretful I might drastically lash out at those around me.OH my!!!
I guess I can no longer attend to these depression, apprehensiveness and angst brought about
by having a broken home.The hurt and pain also hit even those who are not supposed to be
involved. I think I’ve become a parasite in a healthy society.oh my!oh my!!!*slaps face*.
Various aspects of my life has changed. The ramification is too much that they should be
subjected to counseling I guess….*scratches head*.But what can I expect..since “broken”
is a negative thing itself it will certainly have a balky effect on me and my sistahzz..
hmmmp??!!…….But nevertheless……I dun wan ‘em to earn less and run in lower levels of
educational achievement. I wan ‘em to be more civil than those people who grew up with
there parents.I dun wan ‘em to keep in mind the grief of that predicament and will carry it
over into their relationship that they will have throughout their lives…….*smirks*I wish
we will be able to get done with these….Oh how I wish!!!!*sighs*…….