He’s actually afar far perfect..but you know..It’s not my thing to take note of standards. It’s just that he got me completely worked up. Inasmuch as he’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with …. he’s my first in every sense. During our early weeks he’s so preoccupied. He visits me frequently and we never run out of words every time we talk. All is very handy and everything is so beyond compare. His gestures of attachment are very impressive and I’m admittedly amazed at how everything else went so peaceful between us. But all was not well beneath the surface. Somebody is workin’ behind the scene. Which created eventually a contradictory spin on us. His lies, his alibis, his treachery, the rumors, his family, the back-fence talk of a friend, is really getting on me. At times I feel like I have to hang it up and move on. BUt even with his roughness, I struggled to keep the relationship with no ifs and buts. I was never turned-off. In fact, I became able to love his weaknesses. I tried to be extensible in many measures. I managed to live with it and forged on. I felt like I always had to be perfect for him to stay with me. In effect, I almost ignored my own life. But when reality intrudes on the affair of the heart for no apparent reason, momentarily you’ll not gonna notice, you’ll eventually head for the exit and everything will turn out to be a mess. I then bought the idea… I am loosing my edge. Yes… I do believed in sacrifices. But somehow I thought.. why the hell would I hold up? Why would I endure for someone who’s not worth every ounce of my sweat? It’s like loving a gadget to death by over using it. I really dun know how everything else went off the path. The only thing I comprehend is, I’ve given too much but all is taken for granted. WEll… probably this is’nt real at all. Because if it hurts, you loses it and all is torn up..they say it is’nt love. It looked like I was about to swallow my own words. I often say I will never give up on him…even how fatal the wounds are , I’m ready to endure for anything. But as I went through the process, I became aware that I must fight the urge of giving too much. It just does’nt seem to do any better. It’s the most damaging relationship error one can ever make. It was even scarier than I thought. Loving a good-for-nothing person is like adding insult to injury. That’s why I decided to cut it off. I took steps to get over everything and ended up all the heavy-hearted thoughts. I stopped moping around and started to get involved in new things. Well…the best lesson there is that love has brought me is…..a worthless sacrifice is not the basis for a good relationship. It’s a half-baked suicide. You should set something aside for yourself if you dun want to end up fixing your own mistake. It’s kinda complicated but bear in mind…you can always simplify anything.